zNSFW

Said

I was in bed with my girlfriend.
She said, "Does the fact that I'm blind turn

Fetch the ball they said,don't poo in the carpet they said, bad boy they said.

"Just a couple of drinks!" he said. "Win a staff!" he said.

The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, "Jeez you got

Said I must. Why aren't there more hot girls?

...said she was 18

Try to wear a moustache they said and old school pants they said U'll be sexy they

Said I had to block her face...

Said "Show me your pussy" on Tinder. Unexpected response.

Said every man on the internet!

Lets go on Vacation she said, It'll Be Fun, She Said. You'll Love it, She Said.

Said to (m)y friend that I'm working on getting jacked

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke

Become a nurse, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

let's go fishing they said... will be fun they said...

He said i love you. Me and daddy arnt together fully an were just best friends with

a good toronto lawyer shouldn't do this, they said...what if they find out who you

"Get a GoPro" they said. "Think of all the cool jumps you'll record"

Said the hard version was cu(m)ming ! Imagen being at the end of it ;)

(M) I have plenty of options mother just Milwaukee, cousin said south bend , brother

(M) str8 outta the shower softie. And like i said i don't havr the biggest dick in

Said she can do the rest after I strip all of hers off

Her Master said he would fuck her sideways and she said "no way" and he

My landlord called. He let himself in because the rent was due. I was in bed. He

I was eating fruit and I picked up a funny looking blueberry and showed it to my

Join the army, they said. See the world, they said. Do what you're good at, they

"I thought you invited me for soup?" I said. "You're going to eat

I had a potroast dinner and sat down and you know what he said? He said I'm gonna

He said "Send nudes." I said "Tell your girlfriend I said hi."

"Take a yachting vacation," they said. "Visit exotic ports,"

Who wants ruin me? That’s what a man said to me. He said I looked like I needed

(m) had all 3, went to jail for beating dude ass. I had only the re-up money she

Get a Victoria's Secret Credit card I said, good idea I said, I won't go overboard

Your best friend warned you about that Syrian refugee. She said they call him "the

saide west

“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good

“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good

Came home and the wife said "you fucked up", I said "no I didn't",

“They say I should stay away from you,” I said. “They said you’re not good

Said I'm numb to your love s,,na-p~agoclands?

Said I feel in to depression s!na'p<lortsroot!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend! There was some confusion in my last post I’d

Your husband said you needed to get in shape, your husband said you needed a gym

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