zNSFW

My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.

http://i.imgur.com/BrPEFiK.jpg

User: thesimplepleasures

Categories: SexRobot

If they can't take a joke, then fuck 'em. If they can, then fuck 'em.

She was a farmer's daughter but she couldn't keep her calves together.

I really had to act; 'cause I didn't have any lines. -- Marilyn Chambers

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. -- Garrison Keillor

Cunnilingus is next to cleanliness.

Doctors take two aspirin and do it in the morning.

Programmers do it bit by bit.

Do not stoop to tie your laces in your neighbor's melon patch.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The penis mightier than the sword.

The Supreme Court does it with all deliberate speed.

Confucious say: woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.

The only people who make love all the time are liars. -- Louis Jordan

Lawyers do it to everyone.

Love is blind but desire doesn't give a good goddam. -- James Thurber

Teen-age prostitution: the problem is mounting!

Lawyers do it to everyone.

Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stay.

For a gay time, call 555-9483. Ask for Brucie.

A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.

Once upon a girl there was a time...

Writers do it between periods.

Sixteen'll get you twenty.

A hand in the bush is worth two on the bird.

Meanwhile back at the oasis, the Ay-rabs wuz busy a-eatin' their dates!

Hackers have kernel knowledge.

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick make her, why can't I?

Ouch! That felt good! -- Karen Gordon

A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.

Confucious say: woman's virginity like balloon, one prick and all gone.

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