ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something zNSFW

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User: apeacezalt2

Categories: AdultConnect

My toilet stopped working today. He decided he's had enough of my shit

I like my women like I like my coffee... [Fill in the blank]

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ... even if it isn't Messi.

A Midget Walked Past Me On The Sidewalk Today Wearing A Shirt That Said "I Hate

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....

What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her?

First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind

I tried googling Wiz Khalifa ... But all I found was MIa Khalifa peeing .

Go to racist joke, what's yours? Two unemployed Irishmen walk past a police notice

Sex makes your day, but anal makes you hole weak..

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love? "It's a

Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one

First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind

Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave Full of bat shit and I mostly get the

Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals

I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction,

I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's

What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her?

What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming

What is the favorite food joint of dubstep makers? Sub-WUB-WUB-WUB-way

Sometimes I'll start talking to someone on the train, then go "Oh, this is where

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil? The pencil is better. It has

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips.

what is the best way to smuggle drugs? In your dogs asshole. Should there be border

My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also

What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job.

I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves...

Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings"