I paid 10.50 for a movie ticket to watch Tom Cruise die continuously for 2 hours. I would have paid a hundred dollars to watch that. zNSFW

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User: apeacezalt2

Categories: AdultConnect

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing...

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing...

I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have sex with a prostitute. It was

If there are three gay guys in a bath and a lump of cum floats to the surface, what

I heard that Being the one to circumcise elephants doesn't pay too well But the tips

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special

It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student

Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of

Why don't they have a WHITE history month?? Why don't they have NON-handicapped parking

What is the term for a group of Canadians? Is it "an apology"? "Oh

I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the

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Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.

I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because

Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve' he said in the letter. 'Why?' asked

If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making

If these walls could talk I'd fuckin' move out immediately.

What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.

Finally got around to shaving my crotch after a few years. Its nice to see my knees

What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's

Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns.

[wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing

What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her?