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Remember, when preparing a dish for bedtime, champagne is the best tenderizer.

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User: thesimplepleasures

Categories: SexRobot

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it! -- James Joyce

That girl could suck the chrome off a bumper.

A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.

Ooooooh, nooooooo, not tonight!!

Moustache rides, 50 cents.

Satyrs have more faun.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand!

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it. -- Lewis Grizzard

"Do you smoke after sex?" "Why, do you know, I've never looked!"

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it! -- James Joyce

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love. -- Woody Allen

It's easy to make a friend. What's hard is to make a stranger.

Confucious say: passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Some women achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust into them.

Lisp programmers do it deeper and deeper and deeper.

You are a tower of strength in the office, but only so-so in bed.

Pregnancy begins with a single sell.

Confucious say: man who beat off in car have hot rod.

This system goes down more often than a two-dollar whore.

A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.

My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.

Ouch! That felt good! -- Karen Gordon

Confucious say: woman who ride bicycle peddle ass around town.

Confucious say: a smart man knows on which side his broad is better.

That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex

Lawyers do it to everyone.

DIVE!!! DIVE!!! DIVE!!! UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)

Unix programmers do it with pipes.

That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex

When better women are made, computer programmers will make them.

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