zNSFW

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.

http://i.imgur.com/vu0P877.png

User: thesimplepleasures

Categories: SexRobot

DIVE!!! DIVE!!! DIVE!!! UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)

Never try to keep up with the Joneses; they might be newlyweds.

Mathematicians take it to the limit.

Writers do it between periods.

Programmers get overlaid.

The best way to cut off a cat's tail is to repossess his Jaguar.

The plural of spouse is spice. -- R. A. Heinlein

Nine out of ten men who preferred Camels have switched back to women.

Brain on vacation, penis on autopilot.

Nine out of ten men who preferred Camels have switched back to women.

Mathematicians take it to the limit.

Sex is the poor man's opera. -- G. B. Shaw

Confucious say: man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.

If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.

Runners do it alone.

Many nice things suck.

Runners do it alone.

Pregnancy begins with a single sell.

Programmers do it until it goes down.

She was only a mortician's daughter but anyone cadaver.

Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash. -- Bo Diddley

There's many a slurp t'wixt the tip and the zip.

A chiseler is a man who goes stag to a wife-swapping party.

Love is just for now ... herpes lasts forever.

There are many ways to say "I love you", but fucking is the fastest.

There is nothing as overrated as a bad lay, or as underrated as a great shit.

Her kisses left something to be desired: the rest of her.

Moustache rides, 50 cents.

Confucious say: man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

For a good time, call 555-9485. Ask for Michael.

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