zNSFW

Never try to keep up with the Joneses; they might be newlyweds.

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User: thesimplepleasures

Categories: SexRobot

Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated. -- M. C. Reed

People who live in glass houses should ball in the basement.

Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash. -- Bo Diddley

One should be cherry of virgins.

My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.

Save a forest - eat a beaver!

"Do you smoke after sex?" "Why, do you know, I've never looked!"

Confucious say: man who kicked in testicles get left holding bag.

It is far better to sleep with an old hen than pullet.

Systems people do it with a small, but clean, interface.

Confucious say: man who sleep in road wake up with run-down feeling.

Runners do it alone.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it. -- Lewis Grizzard

For a gay time, call 555-9483. Ask for Brucie.

That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex

One should be cherry of virgins.

Confucious say: passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

You pedophiliac sodomizer of ducklings!!

An 11 is a 10 who doesn't have headaches.

I want a girl that can swallow my pride. -- Frank Zappa, "Jewish Princess"

Confucious say: woman who ride bicycle peddle ass around town.

Confucious say: passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

When Snow White turns on with the dwarfs she probably winds up feeling Dopey.

Confucious say: seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.

Confucious say: woman who bathe in vinegar have sour puss.

You pedophiliac sodomizer of ducklings!!

Do I like getting drunk? Depends on who's doing the drinking. -- Amy Gorin

Sex is like a bridge game -- If you have a good hand no partner is needed.

Many nice things suck.

Ooops. Gotta run. My dog wants sex. Later.

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