zNSFW

You don't measure up

https://i.imgur.com/xE6VzIA.jpg

User: jolliesoff

Categories: hotpastCaptions

I hope there's still a few out there...

All her firsts are in the past with other men...all I'm left with is a slutty wife.

Never looked at duct tape the same since this story

Saddlebacking

Always do!

She had a 'wild phase' before she met you

...and her mouth, and pussy, and ass...

More experienced than you think

Expert sucker

If your wife had a tongue ring when you met her, you can't count high enough...

...about 2 inches longer too

I love thinking of this...

When you get her to tell you about her hung ex

The one ex she doesn't mention much...

It was just a phase

He'll always have that memory

She claims she hates cops

She confirmed steroids shrunk most of their balls, though

she plays for the team (daughter/boss)

After seeing her ex in the gym

Doesn't it make you jealous?

You need to up your game

does she look at you that way?

Twice the fun

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride

You just HAD to find them

she was responsible

bio said she hates condoms

misplaced insecurity

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