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What's the best way to work your trapezius muscles? *shrugs*

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User: apeacezalt

Categories: AdultConnect

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What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts.
*Guy tries giving me his phone number* Me: Oh no thank you. I already have one
What do people from the 1930's and /r/news jokes have in common? They're both old.
"Beat up anybody you see drinking 7UP" -first rule of Sprite Club
"I'm so pissed I could punch a ba-" "A what?" Big Baby from Toy
How do you get a gay man to fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.
Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot!
I once was bored so I decided to eat a clock to *pass the time*. It was very *time
T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling
In China the labels read, "Made by someone you know."
Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is
If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who
If you're reading this you're probably addicted to the internet. And by internet,
Jokers of Reddit, any good blonde jokes or punch lines out there?
Pokemon Go has really improved my life... I used to always get in trouble for playing
What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger
Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy? His attempts to cure it were
Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips.
What is the greatest intermolecular force of all time? Dipole, dipole, dipole, dipole,
How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve...
H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want
Why do lawyer's suits never have pants pockets? Because their hands are always in
ME: Is this Babies R Us CASHIER: Yes ME: No babies work here C: I know ME: It should
A Bug's Mind What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he crashes
Star Wars (1977, PG) a group of terrorists enlist the aid of a drug smuggler and
True: If you don't eat a whole basket of tortilla chips before your entree arrives
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her
My favorite kind of math is adding insult to injury.
My best friend and I were comparing our penises... for who has the biggest. It ended
Broken pencils... ...are pointless.

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