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"Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere." - Doorknob

https://i.imgur.com/VLqPnP8.jpg

User: apeacezalt2

Categories: AdultConnect_uk

Ay' girl,is your dad a terrorist Cause you re da bomb

What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY

What does a slave driver do with his slaves when he's bored? He racism.

What is a name for a female lawyer? Sue

One hair in my soup Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what

Apparently when your boss asks if you're on drugs "which drugs?" isn't

NEVER date someone that works for your cell phone provider. You're welcome.

"911, what's your emergency?" Me: A cute guy at the laundromat walked past

Fruit and urinal give a bad name to cakes everywhere.

Why the gills in the sea don't drink tea even though there is plenty of water That

What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in

What do you call a black man who dies of heat exhaustion and a white guy that dies

Two guys walk into a bar.. The third guy ducked.

I robbed a place with my boner and said it was a gun... I got a pretty STIFF punishment.

Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement's headline enticed him - See Ape-les

The people in this ad look 'indie' & remind me of myself. As a consumer this

Student: Teacher, can I ask you a question? Teacher: You just did.

My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.

Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?

What do Shakespearian Buddhists eat for breakfast? Om and cheese Hamlets.

I work hard so my dog can have a better life.

I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken,

What do people call their grandmother in India? Naana

What Is Bluetooth ? When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing

Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe

me: can i have a coke waiter: is Pepsi ok? me: ya pepsi's fine pepsi: i have a boyfriend

I did a terrible job preparing for my Blue Man Group audition and boy is my face

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