Sometimes I'm depressed and then a girl stars one of my tweets and it's like YAAAAYYYY NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!! zNSFW

https://i.imgur.com/ftlqOEI.jpg

User: apeacezalt2

Categories: AdultConnect_usa, AdultConnect_uk

What do Shakespearian Buddhists eat for breakfast? Om and cheese Hamlets.

The Grapes of Wrath 2: The Raisins of Revenge

I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains

lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some

What do people call their grandmother in India? Naana

Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe

There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight,

What do you call an inspiring jerk session? A stroke of genius!

Imagine me naked. Wrong. Fatter.

Ropin' and Ranchin' by Larry Yett

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm going to shoot whoever slept with my wife"!

I like my women like I like my coffee... [Fill in the blank]

sdfsdfwe

If I had a penny for every Donald Trump joke, I would have a small loan of one million

This bank pen tastes like it's been in a lot of other people's mouths

What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one

What do you call going Doctor to Doctor... What do you call going Doctor to Doctor

If you believe the home alarm commercials, the first thing burglars do when they

"Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere." - Doorknob

Dog's Facebook status: Tried to save the master from the vacuum cleaner today...

September is Alzheimer's Awareness month... remind me tomorrow.

FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr

hey girl are you my ceiling fan because i'm pretty hot but also too lazy to get up

I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction,

What's the only thing an Irish person can hold on to? A grudge.

how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks

If your'e anxious and you know it..... ...clasp your hands.

My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come

Why do Canadians do it doggy style? So they can both watch the hockey game.