If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot." you are wasting everybody's time. zNSFW

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User: apeacezalt2

Categories: AdultConnect

Nsfw Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? The zit waits untill

Why does little sally have a limp? SHE WENT TO JARED!

How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit.

What defies the law of gravity? Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are

I bet if I were a MAN Apple wouldn't tell me my password ideas are weak.

Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in

What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool.

I see you've got your bill for using the Internet Yes and my dad's really going to

I just found out I am a hipster Because I started using #NotMyPresident 8 years ago.

Putting captions in the wrong place You know what I hate the most...?

Anyone want to hear my Human Centipede joke? Nah, I won't tell you it. It sucks ass.

I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been

My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount

My new cooking show, "Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to

To all the girls that say Gentlemen don't exist anymore: They do exist but Gentlemen

When my wife takes a nap, it's "desperately needed rest." When I do, it's

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special

What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional.

This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down

Wiping your ass is a lot like a traffic light Red means stop.

What idiot called her a Hot Indian Girl and not a Bomb Bae

I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music... and call

Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks.

My mom recently bought a Jesus shaped flashlight When I asked her why she said: So

What did the homeless person say to the gay job interviewer when asked for his address?

What do you call a racist dog from Animal Crossing? KKK Slider

Letsh Have Shex! -Horny Sean Connery

This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was

What Did the Upvote whore say to the Redditor? I'll suck yo dick for a Upvote

What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts.