zNSFW

Adult Network

Adulting
I’ll admit I’m building QUITE the adult social network ??
i think you adult enough )
I heard that Being the one to circumcise elephants doesn't pay too well But the tips
I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special
I wish I was having an adult social hour..... Who else?
How do you spot the blind man at the nudist beach? It's not hard
Why does BuzzFeed skip every other number when counting? They literally can't even.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings"
What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love? "It's a
What's the difference between wild Iranian Ossetra caviar and my penis? One is a
FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr
What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking
My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the
how many people does it take to save the world? zero (compliments to my SO who thinks
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison? An escapea
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket
What do grandparents smell like? "Depends"
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Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve Because they all share the same DNA
Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns.
I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands.
How many people does it take to change a light bulb in Brazil? A Brazillion!!! http://imgur.com/c4CJjUd
I just got a new job at a gay magazine. I'm a poofreader.
My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount
34352345 435
This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down
Alcohol is like Lysol for feelings, it won't kill all of them.
HER: You look so nervous. ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous. HER: You're sweating.
Why was there semen on the clean laundry? When Greg woke up, his mom had left a note
I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have sex with a prostitute. It was
I once was bored so I decided to eat a clock to *pass the time*. It was very *time
If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who
What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger
When I hear "This call is being monitored for quality assurance" I think
ME: Is this Babies R Us CASHIER: Yes ME: No babies work here C: I know ME: It should
My favorite kind of math is adding insult to injury.
There are two types of people in life... Those who think there are two types of people
PSA: If you've got an Islamic dog... Muslim
Did you guys know that water can talk? Water you talking about?
Why don't they have a WHITE history month?? Why don't they have NON-handicapped parking
I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips... ...I think I'm a hummusexual.
A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. The librarian tells
Me: .... Dog: ... Me: .... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog: ... Me: .... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog:
My wife urged me to be more experimental in the bedroom, but I guess she wasn't expecting
How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter? A Brazilian
Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? Incase he gets a hole in one
Does a cow give milk? No, they have to take it from her
My new years resolution is to have more sex! I Haven't told my cellmate yet though
A man purchases a kitten, which he's having trouble house breaking. What does his
Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did
What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub? .....Add your laundry.
I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the most fake thing I have
When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I
My favorite knock knock joke. I need someone to start it ... Someone start the knock
I don't like drive-thru's I think it's money out the window.
My house is really small until I can't find my phone.
There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them both.
Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open.

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