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If a woman has sex with a hundred men...... She is a considered a slut. If a man
COME TO ME JOURNALBOT *Journalbot enters my study* ok write this down: Polar bears
A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him.
How do you confuse a blind person? Toss them a basketball and ask them to read it.
Hey, is your name Paul Revere? Because I want to give you a midnight ride!
I got tasered by a female cop the other night.. never have I laid eyes upon a more
My toilet stopped working today. He decided he's had enough of my shit
"honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?" "who?
There's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for a while now.
If we have learned anything from the Friday the 13th movies, it's that Jason mainly
I wonder if Bruce Wayne ever wears a Batman t-shirt.
What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you assholes.
Its poor! But, What happens when Supper stars fart in public? lol
Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
212xc212xc1
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How to keep the flies off the bride at an Italian wedding Keep a bucket of shit next
woke up just in time to push my cat off the bed before he threw up. today is going
*nose hairs growing out of control *buys tiny scissors *jam them in the eyes of whoever
What's the worse thing to do to a blind person? Leave a plunger in the toilet
How do I know when your sister's on her period..... Your dad's dick taste like blood
A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin
How to get a job... Interviewer: "What's your biggest weakness?" Interviewee:
You know what the definition of "competitive" is? Finishing first *and*
They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....
What's the sharpest thing in the word? A fart. It goes right through your pants and
An infectious disease enters a bar... the bartender says,"we dont serve your
Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns.
The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're
I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.
What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming
Saw a homeless guy babbling about conspiracy theories that doesn't really make sense...
What did the gay guy say to his lover when they were going on vacation? "Hey,
Have you ever seen those "Give a penny, take a penny" things at convenience
Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.
Anyone want to hear my Human Centipede joke? Nah, I won't tell you it. It sucks ass.
What do golfers do on nights out? **par**ty.
My new cooking show, "Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to
Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest
What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional.
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout "Heroes in a half shell."
I once was bored so I decided to eat a clock to *pass the time*. It was very *time
T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling
What is the greatest intermolecular force of all time? Dipole, dipole, dipole, dipole,
How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve...
Star Wars (1977, PG) a group of terrorists enlist the aid of a drug smuggler and
My best friend and I were comparing our penises... for who has the biggest. It ended
I tried googling Wiz Khalifa ... But all I found was MIa Khalifa peeing .
What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love? "It's a
Having the option to erase and re-record after having to leave a voicemail is one
Browsing this sub is like mining in a cave Full of bat shit and I mostly get the
I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the
What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her?
What is the favorite food joint of dubstep makers? Sub-WUB-WUB-WUB-way
My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also
I hate how the losers of every election maintain such a high view of themselves...
*job interview* Why do you want to be a psychiatrist? *pictures clients acting like
Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me
I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new

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