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How do you send a dog to space? Laika boss.

How many bear arms could Bear Grylls bear to bear if Bear Grylls could bear to bear

How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000? Smells

What's the best way to work your trapezius muscles? *shrugs*

He's dead, Jim. Bought the farm. Bit the pita. Shanked the llama. He's a shit pinata.

Went to fight.. Hockey game broke out.

What's fun about having sex with twenty-one year olds? You know, there is twenty

All right, Mr. Bank Guy. My business plan is forcing my pregnant dog to drink beer

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails? Yours tin-sincerely.

I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito.

So I drew a perfect circle today. You could say I finally got around to it.

Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he......... Oh I'm

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing...

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing...

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing...

Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me

I like my women like I like my coffee... [Fill in the blank]

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....

What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her?

Go to racist joke, what's yours? Two unemployed Irishmen walk past a police notice

Sex makes your day, but anal makes you hole weak..

First woman on the moon W: Houston, we have a problem H: What is it? W: Nevermind

They just found a Black guy hanging from a tree with 79 stab wounds in Alabama....

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil? The pencil is better. It has

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings"

TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ... even if it isn't Messi.

Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.

My girlfriend left me after I broke her wheelchair..... Oh,, I think she'll come

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