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Hotel California is basically a negative Yelp review with a two minute guitar solo.

Sorry I pissed on the walls of your bathroom, but the flowery wall paper made me

How do two lawyers greet each other? With a firm handshake.

What's the name of the best brewer in the world? Bock Goodale

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22 one to screw

When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include "being

Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.

CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That's flattering, but I don't date

I think r/jokes may be glitched Top of all time and new both show the same jokes

A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her

Them: If you were stranded on a desert island with any two people, living or dead,

Did you hear about the man who choked on an issue of The Guardian after learning

Put the punchline in the title. How do you piss off a redditor?

Islam is a race. Because it's inbreeds fucking each other.

Dad and son A son asks his father "Why does my bum hurt" while the father

Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe...

If you hear the words "oh yeah, suck it" coming from my bedroom, it's probably

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're

I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be.

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