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What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza? Heperoni
Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired.
Stealing my little brother's (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and
I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new
Jenna Jameson to Oprah, "There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."
What defies the law of gravity? Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are
I bet if I were a MAN Apple wouldn't tell me my password ideas are weak.
Anyone want to hear my Human Centipede joke? Nah, I won't tell you it. It sucks ass.
I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been
When my wife takes a nap, it's "desperately needed rest." When I do, it's
What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional.
Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
What do you call a racist dog from Animal Crossing? KKK Slider
What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts.
Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil? The pencil is better. It has
[car wreck] [hand reaches out] "Take my hand. I'm Chad Kroeger from the popular
If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me
It's just sad how often I see zookeepers breaking their own 'Dont Feed the Animals'
The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and be awarded eternal life" John
How to get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeve...
lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some
I tried googling Wiz Khalifa ... But all I found was MIa Khalifa peeing .
The definition of spin
They say love is worth more than money. But I'm pretty sure my landlord is gona want
Why did the Storm Trooper decide to buy an Iphone? Because he couldn't find the Droid
An apple a day keeps my fruit-picking business trapped in bankruptcy.
My brother told me this today. Malayasia flight 404 not found.
What do you call a Chinese conga line? A Chu Chu train
Communism jokes are not funny Unless everyone gets them
Who does the Metric Cult worship? ...Demetre.
listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket
Who are the 3 most famous black women? 1. Oprah 2. Aunt Jamima 3. Motha Fucka
You really have to question the judgment of people who have children on purpose.
Sex makes your day, but anal makes you hole weak..
What did Spock find in the Enterprise Bathroom? The Captain's Log.
What is Moby Dicks dad's name? Poppa Boner
A blind guy walks into a bar... ...then a table, then a chair, then another chair...
When I say I'm gonna take a nap, it means I'm gonna go on my computer for three hours.
Why do elephants have 4 feet? Because in the animal kingdom 6 inches just wont do
I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.
My 8 y/o memorized my 12 character password that has upper and lowercase letters,
Even after 20 years, Jared Fogle is still getting into smaller and smaller jeans.
Chicken Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To go to the gay guys house Knock
Why don't most fans like the first 39 episodes of DBZ? Its pretty gay, just Saiyan.
What is your best "Yo mama" joke?
*nose hairs growing out of control *buys tiny scissors *jam them in the eyes of whoever
It would be great to be born on Earth and die on Mars. Preferably not on the point
A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin
You know what the definition of "competitive" is? Finishing first *and*
What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend? Frisbae
I have this fun drinking game where you take a drink every time you'd like one because
Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired.
How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.
I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new
A guy walks into a bar... Ouch.
How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit.
Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in
What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool.
I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been
My new cooking show, "Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to

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