zNSFW

Sexrobot

Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex. -- Karl Marx
For a good time, call 555-9484. Ask for Cathy.
Yuck Foo.
My sex life hasn't been so good; either fist or famine.
How come if you're horny it's lust, but if she's horny it's affection?
You are a tower of strength in the office, but only so-so in bed.
Hackers know all the right MOVs.
Ooops. Gotta run. My dog wants sex. Later.
You are loved by the multitudes. Have you been to the clinic lately?
Why, Good Morning! I'm the bluebird of fellatio!
A hand in a bird is worth two on 'er bush.
Confucious say: woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, may get tit bit.
A toast to the kisses you've snatched and vice-versa.
Love comes in spurts. -- Devo, "Please Please"
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand!
Confucious say: man who live in glass house should bathe in the basement.
Confucious say: man who live in glass house should bathe in the basement.
There's many a slurp t'wixt the tip and the zip.
Oral sex is like being attacked by a giant snail. -- Germaine Greer
Vidi, vici, veni. (I saw, I conquered, I came.)
Save a mouse, eat a pussy!
The other night I was having sex, but the girl hung up on me.
The plural of spouse is spice. -- R. A. Heinlein
"Do you smoke after sex?" "Why, do you know, I've never looked!"
When better women are made, computer programmers will make them.
A midget had a date with a very tall girl. It was a quiff-hanger.
Couples in motion have moments.
Confucious say: man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
Don't look now -- your office mate is a pederast!!!
It's the sighs that count.
The harder they come, the more important it is to have an extra-firm mattress.
Systems people do it with a small, but clean, interface.
Programmers get overlaid.
Pregnancy -- the worst sexually transmitted disease of them all.
There's many a slurp t'wixt the tip and the zip.
Whoever named it "necking" was a poor judge of anatomy. -- Groucho Marx
Sex is the poor man's opera. -- G. B. Shaw
Every harlot was a virgin once. -- William Blake
Physicists do it with charm.
Painters do it with even strokes.
Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.
If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.
Confucious say: man who live in glass house should bathe in the basement.
Writers do it between periods.
Confucious say: man who suck nipples make clean breast of things.
Confucious say: man who sleep in road wake up with run-down feeling.
The best way to cut off a cat's tail is to repossess his Jaguar.
Love is just for now ... herpes lasts forever.
Meanwhile back at the oasis, the Ay-rabs wuz busy a-eatin' their dates!
Dial 911. Make a cop come.
Confucious say: woman who fly upside down in airplane have big crack up.
Sixteen'll get you twenty.
Sex is an emotion in motion. -- Mae West
He was so ugly hookers used to tell him, "Not on the first date."
Lawyers do it to everyone.
Masturbation! The amazing availability of it! -- James Joyce
That girl could suck the chrome off a bumper.
A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.
Ooooooh, nooooooo, not tonight!!

category index

contact/abuse

zNSFW.com