zNSFW

Sexrobot

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex. -- Peter De Vries
The honeymoon is over when a quickie before dinner refers to a short drink.
Confucious say: seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.
Remember, when preparing a dish for bedtime, champagne is the best tenderizer.
This system goes down more often than a two-dollar whore.
DIVE!!! DIVE!!! DIVE!!! UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)
She was only a mortician's daughter but anyone cadaver.
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. -- Garrison Keillor
Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.
She was a farmer's daughter but she couldn't keep her calves together.
Procrastinators do it tomorrow.
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy.
Moustache rides, 50 cents.
Love is just for now ... herpes lasts forever.
You might get caught holding the bag. Say she's your sister.
Do I like getting drunk? Depends on who's doing the drinking. -- Amy Gorin
Love does not make the world go around, just up and down a bit.
Remember, when preparing a dish for bedtime, champagne is the best tenderizer.
Working here is like a pregnancy. After nine months you wish you hadn't come.
Mathematicians do it in theory.
EE's do it without shorts.
The three faithful things in life are money, a dog and an old woman.
So, how's your love life? Still holding your own?
Sex and drugs and UNIX.
Do something big -- fuck a giant.
Save a forest - eat a beaver!
To be the kind of girl designed to be kissed between the thighs.
How come if you're horny it's lust, but if she's horny it's affection?
Every dog has its day, but the nights belong to the pussycats.
An 11 is a 10 who doesn't have headaches.
Love is eating her even when she's not having her period.
Hackers have kernel knowledge.
Evangelists do it with Him watching.
Moustache rides, 50 cents.
Satyrs have more faun.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand!
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it. -- Lewis Grizzard
"Do you smoke after sex?" "Why, do you know, I've never looked!"
Masturbation! The amazing availability of it! -- James Joyce
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love. -- Woody Allen
It's easy to make a friend. What's hard is to make a stranger.
Confucious say: passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Some women achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust into them.
Lisp programmers do it deeper and deeper and deeper.
You are a tower of strength in the office, but only so-so in bed.
Pregnancy begins with a single sell.
Confucious say: man who beat off in car have hot rod.
This system goes down more often than a two-dollar whore.
A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.
My girlfriend's favorite erotic position is bending over my credit cards.
Ouch! That felt good! -- Karen Gordon
Confucious say: woman who ride bicycle peddle ass around town.
Confucious say: a smart man knows on which side his broad is better.
That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex
Lawyers do it to everyone.
DIVE!!! DIVE!!! DIVE!!! UP PERISCOPE!!! (Ooops, sorry, wrong fantasy.)
Unix programmers do it with pipes.
That's the most fun I've had without laughing. -- Woody Allen, on sex
When better women are made, computer programmers will make them.